


Secrets

by arewecoolvincent



Category: Happy Valley (TV), Last Tango In Halifax
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, F/F, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lies, London, Murder, Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Police, Public Transportation, References to Drugs, Secrets, Witness Protection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:33:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23803906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arewecoolvincent/pseuds/arewecoolvincent
Summary: Caroline McKenzie-Dawson, a well respected headteacher in Harrogate is on the train home from London when she meets Gillian Greenwood, a shy woman who is full of secrets.
Relationships: Gillian Greenwood/Caroline McKenzie-Dawson
Comments: 19
Kudos: 32





	1. London

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written something this dark and complicated before so please be kind if you comment. 
> 
> this idea is completely mine. The characters belong to Sally Wainwright, I have borrowed them :)

Caroline McKenzie-Dawson was on the train home from London. Her day has been extremely busy with conferences and meeting people she would most likely never see again. She had the two-seater to herself until a short woman around her age, asked politely if she could sit next to Caroline and Caroline agreed as she had no companion, so the seat wasn’t used. She studied the woman as she sat next to her. She was small, well not much smaller than Caroline, her hair was brown, she was dressed in extremely tight jeans, a plaid shirt under her leather jacket with converse on her feet. Caroline noticed that when the woman smiled, dimples appeared and the lines on her face disappeared. Her eyes were an enchanting blueish-grey colour. She accidently brushes hands with the woman as she shifts in her seat. “Sorry.” Caroline speaks quietly. “It’s alright, love.” She responds, her Yorkshire accent thick. “You’re from Yorkshire? Sorry I’m being nosey.” Caroline blushes as the woman turns to face her. “Yeah, born and raised in Yorkshire. I live in Halifax now.” The woman smiles at her, “You’re from Yorkshire too, your accent is still there but you’re definitely posh.” Caroline chuckles, “I live in Harrogate.” “Ah, let me guess, you went to Oxford or Cambridge?” The woman smirked as Caroline shifted, slightly uncomfortable. “Oxford.” “Nice.” They both look at each other, wanting to speak but they don’t know how to approach. “I’m Gillian.” The shorter woman offers Caroline her hand, Caroline shakes her hand, “I’m Caroline.”

It’s darker outside as Caroline attempts to read some paperwork. Caroline notices that Gillian is asleep and leaning very close to her shoulder. She hopes that Gillian’s head doesn’t fall onto her shoulder because she wouldn’t have the heart to wake her as the poor woman looks exhausted. When the train stopped at the next station, Gillian shifted in her chair and nearly fell out of it. Caroline lent over and pulled the armrest down so Gillian didn’t fall into the aisle. At this point, they were about half-way home and Caroline couldn’t focus. She put away her papers and messed about with her phone. She felt a weight on her shoulder and she knew it was Gillian’s head. She turned her head and she was met with Gillian’s brown hair tickling her face. She wondered what Gillian did for a living as she noticed a large scar on Gillian’s hand. She stops herself from stroking Gillian’s hair. She is unsure why she feels so attracted to Gillian already when they’ve only just met. 

The train pulls into Harrogate at 10pm and Caroline wakes Gillian. “Sorry to wake you sleeping beauty but I need to get off here.” “We in Harrogate?” Caroline nods and she sees Gillian shuffle. “I need to get off here too.” They exit the train together and leave the station together. “Fuck, I forgot where I parked my car.” Gillian sighs at her stupidity. “You could call a taxi? And then come back tomorrow if you can’t find your car.” Caroline’s arm was killing her as her bag was so heavy. She just wanted to get home. “Are you in car park B? I think I parked in B.” Caroline drops the bag and turns to Gillian, “Yes, I’m on the top storey.” “Well, let’s go and find out.” They crossed the road to the entrance of the multi-storey and took the lift to the top storey. “I could’ve sworn I parked my car here. I remember driving it up here and nearly hitting the car in front of me because they literally parked in the middle of the lane to answer their bloody phone.” Caroline was loading her bag into the back of the Range Rover when Gillian spoke again, “Oh shit. My son’s taken my car. He texted me when I were on the train and I’ve only just seen it. Oh this day just gets fucking worse. I have no way of getting home before 11.” 

“I have an idea and you’re welcome to say no but you could sleep in my guest room and then I can get you a taxi home tomorrow. There’s barely any cabs around this time of night. Or, I can drive you home now. It’s your choice.” Caroline was leaning against her Rover, watching Gillian pace. “I’ll sleep in the guest room if it isn’t too much of an ask. I’m fucking knackered and my knee is killing me.” Caroline climbs into the car and Gillian quickly joins her. She throws her backpack on the backseat beside Caroline’s neatly placed bag. Gillian passes out in the passenger seat for most of the journey. She wakes up as Caroline pulls into the drive. “Wow. This place is beautiful.” They exit the car. Caroline grabs her bag and Gillian’s backpack. She hears the gates shut and she locks the car. She passes Gillian and climbs the steps to the front door. She unlocks it with ease and she enters. The light in the porch flicks on as Gillian steps in behind her. Gillian pushes the door closed. 

“Come through once you’re ready.” Caroline says as she shrugs her coat off and hangs it on the rack. Gillian slips off her trainers and jacket. Her trainers are placed neatly on the shoe rack and her jacket is hung on the coat rack next to Caroline’s. Gillian exits the porch and enters the spacious living room. She takes in the room. The living room is open-plan and modern. She wanders through into the kitchen which has ceiling to floor windows facing a large garden. “Would you like to go straight to bed?” Caroline speaks as she empties her bag onto the kitchen table. “Uh, yes please.” “Follow me.” Caroline leads Gillian to a bedroom on the ground floor. “This is yours for the night. There’s towels in that cupboard and the bathroom is through that sliding door. It’s en-suite so you won’t have anyone disturb you. I will be in the room at the top of the stairs if you need anything. If you wake up early, you may see my youngest son if you venture into the kitchen. He will most likely ask you questions, but it is your choice if you answer. Anyway, goodnight and I hope you sleep well. If you need painkillers, there should be some in the bathroom cabinet above the sink.” Caroline leaves the room gently closing the door, she sighs and heads back into the kitchen. 

======================================================================

Saturday, 9:00am. 

The sun streams through the half-closed curtains as Gillian stirs. She opens her eyes and looks around, not recognising her surroundings straight away. She hears muffled voices coming from the kitchen. She gets up and slips on the thick bathrobe that is hung on the back of the bedroom door. She enters the kitchen and she sees Caroline frying bacon. “Mum, who’s that?” A young lad who is sat at the table, points his fork at Gillian who is watching Caroline. “Oh, that’s Gillian. I met her yesterday.” Caroline plated the bacon and slid it across the counter to Gillian. “There’s bread, butter and other things on the table. Please, sit down.” Gillian grabbed the plate and sat at the table. She could feel Caroline’s son staring at her. “Lawrence, stop staring at her. You’ll make her uncomfortable.” “Sorry, it’s just I swear I’ve seen her before.” Lawrence looks at his mum who glares at him. “You may have seen me around as I own a farm and I run the farmers market at the weekend in Halifax.” “Mum, Angus is here. His parents are taking us to our rugby game. Dad’s meeting me there. I’ll see you tonight.” He puts his plate in the sink and kisses his mother’s cheek. “Brush your teeth.” Caroline shouts as Lawrence grabs his bag and darts up the stairs. “I will.” 

A few minutes pass and the front door slams. “I am so glad he’s fucked off.” Caroline sits at the table. “You didn’t tell him the whole truth about what you do for a living?” Caroline watched Gillian shrink in her seat. “I couldn’t tell him because I’m not supposed to talk about it.” Gillian put her fork down on her plate. “Shit, I’m sorry.” Caroline felt bad for pressing her on the topic. “Caroline, it’s fine. I need to go soon anyway, I got sheep to feed. Maybe one day, you could come up to the farm and we could get to know each other properly?” “that sounds lovely. Shall I call you a cab?” Gillian nods and excuses herself back to the guest bedroom. She quickly showers and changes into some clean clothes. She’s praising herself for planning ahead, she had intended on staying in London for the night and then coming home today but by the end of the day, she just wanted to get home. There was a knock on the bedroom door which startled Gillian. “Gillian, your cab will be here in 10. You’ll have to tell the cabbie where you want to go.” “Thanks Caroline.” She stuffs her things into the backpack. She exits the room and finds Caroline washing up. “This is for you. It’s my number, if you ever want to meet up for a drink or if you just fancy a chat.” She slips the piece of the paper onto the counter and heads to the porch. Caroline joins her a few seconds later. She’s tying the laces of her converse as Caroline speaks, “I know you said you can’t talk about your job but you know where to find me…. If you need someone. I’m either here or at my office in town. I’ll text you the address, so then you can save my number.” Gillian smiled at Caroline, “Thank you for everything.” “No problem, I don’t usually let strangers stay in my house and cook them breakfast but I felt so bad for you.” They gaze at each other and Caroline could’ve sworn that Gillian was edging closer to her. The doorbell ringing pulls them out of their exchange. “I’ll see you soon. Hopefully.” Gillian says as she leaves the house and Caroline waves her off. She resets the gate on the keypad and starts her paperwork once the kitchen is spotless. She writes a note to clean the bedroom and text Gillian. 

======================================================================

Gillian’s Farm, Halifax. 

She got home and tended straight to the sheep. After feeding the sheep, she started fixing a broken fence down the lane when her phone pinged in the pocket of her jacket. It was text with an address and she knew it was Caroline. She saved the number, slid the phone back in her pocket and continued mending the fence. The afternoon rolled around and she retreated back into the farmhouse. She decided to tackle the second bedroom. She hadn’t touched it since she moved in and it was just full of junk that needed sorting. She sorted through half the stuff before dinner. She had a quick bite to eat before heading back upstairs to tidy the rest. At 9pm, there was a knock on the door. She wasn’t expecting anyone and she was anxious. She didn’t answer the door. She looked out of the window and saw a man. It was dark and she couldn’t really see his face. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to press the panic button and trigger the alarm for no reason. She feels herself hyperventilating as the banging gets louder. She hides upstairs in the second bedroom and hopes the person will disappear. After 20 minutes, the banging has stopped but Gillian is still hiding. She realises her phone is still in her jacket which is laying at the top of the stairs. She calms herself down and slips into the hallway, grabbing her phone and backtracks into her hiding spot. She clicks on the contact that says “Cath” and waits for her friend to pick up the phone.

“Cath? I’m sorry to be calling you but there was a bloke just here banging on me door. I didn’t answer. I hid. I didn’t press the panic button as I wasn’t sure. I think he’s gone now. He will be on the cameras outside, right? I didn’t hear a car as I were at the back of the house. I’m still hiding, what should I do?” she rambled quietly down the phone.

“Right, I need you to click the panic button but stay on the phone. Can you make it to your bedroom without making too much noise?” Cath’s voice was comforting. 

“Yeah, I’ll be quiet.” Gillian fights through the boxes and quietly creeps across the hall to the bedroom. She presses the button hide under the shelf on her bedside cabinet. 

“It’s been logged and I’ll be there in 10, okay? Stay hidden.” Cath hangs up and Gillian sits on the floor next to her bedside table. She waits in the darkness, clutching her phone in her hands and trying to think positive. The 10 minute wait passes quickly and she hears a car pulling into the drive but she remains seated. Gillian hears the knock and Cath’s voice. She bolts down the stairs and opens the door, happy to see Cath. 

“I’ve asked Steve at the office to check the CCTV footage from outside to see if we can identify the man. No one that isn’t cleared should know that you live here.” Cath said as Gillian let her inside. 

“I need you to clear someone…” Gillian was nervous that Cath was going to flip her shit. "Alright, who?” Cath closed the door behind her and followed Gillian into the kitchen. 

“Her name’s Caroline. She’s the headteacher of that posh school, Sulgrave Heath and the other private schools round ‘ere. I met her when I were coming back from London yesterday. I sat next to her on the train and last night, I slept at hers as Raff took my Landy.” Gillian waited for Cath to shout at her about following procedure and ignoring her question.

“You should’ve told me or one of the team but if it was last minute, then I’ll let it slide. But yes, I will clear someone as a visitor. Wait who was it, again? Now I have to wait here for a bit. The team is aware of the situation and they know I’m here. I’m hoping Steve will ring me soon about the CCTV.” Cath watched as Gillian put the kettle on. 

“How long have you been working Witness Protection?” Gillian was feeling nosey but she trusted Cath with her life. She made the tea and placed the two mugs on the kitchen table. Both women sat down. “I’ve been there for 5 years. I was originally based in Sowerby Bridge but I transferred out when I was offered the position at Witness Protection. It’s completely different from the normal beat, mind. Don’t get spat at, punched or run over. I get to deal with actual humans and not twats who’re off their ‘eads and think they’re above the law.” 

“Doesn’t it get boring?” Gillian asks as Cath sips her tea. “Honestly, no. I mean my colleagues know me as the great Catherine Cawood who saved Ann Gallagher. I got a fucking award for nearly dying, if ya think about it.” Catherine places the mug down as her phone starts ringing. She excuses herself and takes the call outside. Gillian drinks her tea and traces the wood grain patterns on the table. Catherine reappears and sits back at the table. “That was Steve. We’ve identified who was ‘ere. It was Robbie. Now don’t panic, he’s already been picked up. We had a warrant for his arrest anyway. He shouldn’t bother you anymore. But I will have someone stay with you for the next couple of days. Also, did you say you wanted Caroline McKenzie-Dawson cleared?. Gillian nodded. “I’m related to her. She’s my sister.” Gillian was shocked, but now she thinks about it, she can see it. “I can see it now. But you’re so different, as in career wise.” Gillian and Catherine both chuckled at that. “She’s also had big dreams. I’ve always wanted to help people when they need it hence why I joined the force. But, I will get Caroline cleared for you.” “You’ve probably been asked this before but why do you have to get my visitors cleared? I know it’s for my protection but it does make me uncomfortable.” Gillian watched Catherine’s expression change. “Well you’re right, it is for your protection as we don’t want someone with connections to the Greenwoods to find you. We try not to be overbearing when you go out, hence why our officers are in plain clothes so they fit in with the environment. London was a different story as we had protection following you and you wouldn’t have realised.” “I’m keeping you. You heading to the office or home?” Gillian tidied the table. “I’m heading to office first then home. Someone will be with you soon. Remember, I’m always here to support you. It’s my job, and I view you as a friend, so ring me any time.” Catherine waved goodbye to Gillian as she got to her car. Gillian hated the isolation but she knew it was for her safety until they had found Eddie. Robbie had been dealt with. Eddie was still on the run. Gillian pushed that thought to the back of her mind and set up the guest bedroom for whoever was staying with her this time. The third bedroom which she had been tidying could wait. She missed Raff and her dad but it was safer for them to be living somewhere else. She had always been a disappointment to her father ever since she met Eddie when she was 15 but she was in love with him. She didn’t know that he had a violent and abusive side until they married and moved out of the family home. Years of abuse and violence, not just from Eddie or Robbie but their friends too. She finally managed to escape and reported it all. It was the hardest thing she’s ever done and it’s had its consequences but she cannot wait to see Robbie and Eddie rot in jail.


	2. The Dawson Sisters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine pays Caroline a visit at work to discuss Gillian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this should've been finished and published yesterday but I haven't been feeling great so I hadn't touched it since Friday. if there is any errors, I'm sorry. this is hard for me to write as I am going way out of my depth and i am no where near talented like some of the amazing writers here but I'm trying :)
> 
> I really don't know if I will carry this on...

Caroline was bored. She had shit loads of paperwork to do for the School Academy meeting. But she wanted to talk to her sister, who she hadn’t seen for months. The first call went to voicemail. “Typical.” Caroline huffed and threw her phone down. She gazed out of the window and thought of positive things. Her phone starts ringing and she immediately answers it. “Tell yer bloody receptionist to let me in to see yer. It’s important.” Catherine shouted down the phone. “Alright, bloody hell. I’ll come down to the office.” Caroline tossed the phone on the desk and exited the office. 

“Alex, this is the last time that I’m reminding you that Catherine is my sister and she is allowed in, even if she has to wait. You’ll let me know if she’s here, like we do with all visitors. Understood?” Caroline has just scared the living shit of the receptionist. The poor girl nods and carries on with her work while Catherine and Caroline head to Caroline’s office. 

“What’s so important that you couldn’t say it over the phone?” Caroline gestured for Catherine to take a seat in front of her desk. Caroline sat opposite her but not behind her desk. 

“Right, you met Gillian the other night, correct?” Caroline nodded and waited for Catherine to continue, “I cannot reveal too much as it’s against procedure but Gillian is in Witness Protection. You need to be careful.” Catherine watched Caroline sighed deeply.

“What should I do?” Caroline needed answers. “Well, you’ve been cleared so you can get in contact with her, whether it is by phone or you travelling to farm. But like I said, you need to be careful. Gillian is lovely and she has been through so much. You will have a good impact on her. She needs all the support she can get.” 

“Can you tell me why she’s in W.P or not?” Caroline was grasping at straws here but she wanted to know. She likes Gillian.

“All I’m going to say is, it’s ‘er ex-husband that’s problem.” Catherine knew that Caroline would figure it out. “She was abused?” Catherine didn’t answer but Caroline sensed she was right. “Fucking hell. That’s a lot to take in. She mentioned her son, is he in protection too?” Catherine nodded. “I would like to get to know her but I’m not so sure now.” “Caroline, you can get to know ‘er. You can do this. You’re cleared to visit, if you visit her, there will be a police officer present but they won’t disturb you. I’m on duty there tonight, if yer want to come.” “That sounds great.” “Right, I’ll pick you up at 5, from here?” “Ok. Thank you Catherine.” 

=====================================================================

“I hope you don’t mind me being here.” Caroline spoke as Gillian pottered about the kitchen. “No it’s good you’re here. It gets lonely sometimes. Catherine and her team are brilliant but it’s nice to see a different face.” Gillian placed a plate in front of Caroline. Catherine had left the two ladies alone downstairs. She had taken her food upstairs. “How long have you been here?” Caroline didn’t want to upset Gillian, so she was going to tread lightly. “3 years. I love it here. I have my animals and my fields to keep me occupied. The views gorgeous but the winters are harsh.” Gillian smiles as she places some lasagna on Caroline’s plate. “Do you have a job? Other than this place?” Gillian plates her food and sits opposite Caroline. “I used to but it became too dangerous for me to be alone without no protection. Hence why I run market on weekends. But your son knew me from somewhere else and I know where.” Gillian took a forkful of lasagna in her mouth and waited for the inevitable questions. 

“Why are you in Witness Protection? You don’t have to tell me. Only tell me if you’re comfortable.” Caroline already knew why, but she knew that didn’t touch the surface. 

“My ex-husband, Eddie, abused me. His brother, Robbie, would beat me too. They got involved in drugs and gangs. I ran from the old house to the police station which was about 3 miles. I ran with 3 cracked ribs and the doctors were shocked that I managed it. My son were at school, so they picked him up and brought him to the hospital. I was under protection from that date. I told the police everything I knew, which wasn’t much, as Eddie wouldn’t tell me but I helped them achieve the breakthrough they needed. Robbie’s been arrested, Eddie’s still on the run and some of their mates have been caught too and I have to stay here until it’s all over. I have to testify. Eddie knew I had been with women before and he hated it. He were very possessive and homophobic. My dad now lives with my son. I don’t really get to see them but it’s for our safety. I thought about killing Eddie once. He were pissed, he had been hitting me all day and we were on a farm. He were playing with log splitter. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it, I didn’t want to go to prison and leave my son with that vile piece of shit. I filed for divorce straight away and I was surprised that Eddie signed the papers. So I’m free from that. I say free but he still controls my life in one way or another. Shit sorry that’s a lot to digest, I hope I haven’t put you off your dinner.” Gillian drops the fork onto her plate. She hears Caroline sniff, indicating she had been crying. “Shit.” Caroline muttered as she wiped away her tears. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Gillian felt bad for making her cry. “It’s okay. I didn’t expect to get this emotional.” 

After dinner, Catherine updated Gillian on the investigation. Caroline excused herself outside to make a phone call. She returned after Catherine had gone upstairs. “I guess you want to know more about me.” She lent on the doorframe as she watched Gillian put more wood on the fire. “If you want to share that. Also Catherine said she’ll take you home soon.” Gillian rose from the floor and sat on the sofa closest to the fire. Caroline sat opposite the fire, away from Gillian. “Well, I’ve been married twice. My first marriage was a shambles, my husband, John cheated on me. We had two children, Lawrence and William. Lawrence is the youngest and he is much like his father. William is more like me. My second marriage was to a woman, named Kate, she was hit by a car which killed her. I came out as lesbian after I divorced John.” Caroline had that castaway look in her eyes when she spoke about Kate. She missed Kate but there’s a small part of her deep down, that knew that her and Kate weren't always meant to be. “Catherine’s been great. She’s always supported me even when my mum didn’t accept me when I came out. Catherine hates our mother. They’ve never seen eye to eye. Celia, our mother, hated Catherine even since she became a police officer. She believes that Catherine had more potential. Basically, she wanted Catherine to be like me. But I’ve always been dainty and she’s always been...well… butch? Is that the right word? She’s always been strong and heavy-handed. We were messing around when we were little and she got a bit rough with me. She nearly broke my wrist with her iron grip. Being a copper suits her. She’s brilliant at it and she wouldn’t survive my job. She’d throttle a kid if they pissed her off.” They chuckled as Catherine appeared. “Me ears are burning. You chatting shite about me?” Catherine watched as Caroline tried to suppress another laugh. “Caroline here, was filling me in about your mother.” Gillian turned her head and she saw Catherine scoff. “Don’t even get me bloody started. She acts like she doesn’t know ‘ho I am! She damn well knows who I am. I fucking came out of ‘er.” Catherine flopped down next to Caroline. “Catherine!” Caroline shoves her sister as they start laughing again. Gillian feels so comfortable around Caroline already. Catherine and Caroline are complete opposites but they get on brilliantly. “Caroline, I best get you home. Even though I don’t want to leave Gillian ‘ere on her own.” Gillian watches Caroline get her coat. “I could come with you? I’ve been stuck here all day.” Catherine hesitates before answering, “Just this once.” Gillian cheered as she grabbed her coat. They all shuffled outside and Gillian locked the front door. 

It was nearly 10pm by the time Catherine and Gillian arrived back at the farm. They had stopped off at a supermarket to get some ingredients for breakfast. Gillian unpacked the shopping and went to bed. Catherine stayed downstairs with a brew and then retired to bed. Gillian still gets nightmares. Some nights are worse than others. Some nights she can fight him off in her dreams. Others she can’t. And tonight is one of those nights. She starts thrashing in her sleep as she feels his hands tighten around her neck. She clawed at his arms and kicked her legs out. “Oh shit.” Catherine realised what was going on when she heard Gillian sobbing. They slept with their bedroom doors open for this exact reason. She clambered out of bed and dashed along the hallway. She knelt down next to the bed. “Gillian, I need you to wake up. It’s okay. He’s not here to hurt you. It’s just me and you. You’re safe.” Catherine feels Gillian calming under her touch. She feels Gillian turn and face her. Her eyes wide with fear and sadness. “Catherine. I’m sorry.” Gillian choked out. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Remember what I said, you don’t have to apologise. None of this is your fault. It’s that pig-headed twat’s fault. How about I make you some sweet tea and you come downstairs when you’re ready. There’s something I want to show yer.” and with, Catherine disappeared downstairs. 

The tea is made and a mug is waiting for Gillian on the kitchen table. “Caroline really likes yer. I’ve never seen like this before, not even with Kate. she wants to support yer but she isn’t sure how she can because of the risks.” Catherine watched Gillian closely. She could tell that Gillian was still suffering internally but she looked better. The tea would definitely help keep her calm. “I asked Caroline about her family. She explained about her marriages and her children. What happened with Kate is tragic. I saw pictures of Caroline and someone when I was there and now I know that it was Kate in those pictures. They looked happy.” Gillian fiddled with the handle of her mug, she was too ashamed to look at Catherine. “They were happy. Kate was brilliant. She was intelligent and everyone loved her, well expect our mother. Lawrence wasn’t always nice to Kate but he takes after John. He was a dick, and he still continues to try to convince Caz that they should get back together. All he does is drink now. He was an author but his publisher dropped him, which is fucking hilarious. Oh shit, please don’t call her Caz, she hates it.” This earned a laugh from Gillian. “Why does she hate it?” Gillian watched as Catherine laughed, throwing her head back. “Lawrence used to do it to piss ‘er off when they argued. It drove her barmy. She wanted me to throw Lawrence in a cell at the nick to teach ‘im a lesson.” Gillian laughed as she brought the mug to her lips and she took a large mouthful. “That’s hilarious. I bet she’s completely different at home compared to at school.” Catherine nodded, “Aye, she is but she can be just as strict at ‘ome. You haven’t met William, ‘ave ya?” Gillian shakes her head. “He’s much calmer but very sarcastic like his mother. He is the male version of her, but he isn’t gay. He cares for ‘er more than his father ever did for ‘er. He is a blessing, that boy.” “He sounds lovely. Lawrence recognised me. He said he had seen me before and the only other place than market, were the papers.” They stay silent. The only sound that is heard is the wind blowing outside as it whistled over the Yorkshire hills. 

“There’s something I need to tell ya.” Gillian spoke quietly. Catherine gestured for her to continue. “Before I got married, I had a string of flings with a few women. Eddie found out. But that’s not why I am telling ya. I really like Caroline. I know it will never work with me and ‘er but I just wanted to let you know how I feel already.” Gillian noticed that Catherine wasn’t paying attention and she had moved to the window. 

“Gillian, get upstairs now. Hide.” Catherine demanded. 


	3. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine and Gillian have a situation at the farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! I would like to thank those who've commented. You guys have given me a much needed confidence boost! This book is pushing my limits and I'm glad you are enjoying it! I finished this chapter in a couple of hours and I'm proud of it :)
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated. 
> 
> love, Fearless x

  
Gillian was hiding in her bedroom. She had pressed the panic button as she entered her bedroom. She didn’t want to leave Catherine downstairs on her own but she knew Catherine was strong. Gillian had been too scared to see what was happening outside. She could hear shouting but she couldn’t make out what was being said. She hoped that Catherine was staying safe downstairs. The only good thing she can think of right now is meeting Caroline for the first time on the train. Gillian’s trip to London was spontaneous as one of her friends from her teenage years was working down there as a family lawyer. They had recently got in contact, even though it was risky but it had been cleared by the W.P. team. Gillian didn’t even hear Catherine go outside. 

“Eddie. This is not the way to do this.” Gillian hears Catherine say. Gillian feels herself shaking and cursing herself for marrying the twat. 

“No. This is the fucking way to do this. That bitch in there deserves what’s coming to her.” Eddie shouts as he waved his knife around. 

“You’ve had a bit too much drink, you shouldn’t have driven ‘ere and you’re threatening someone. I can arrest you for those offences plus the six other warrants out for ya.” Catherine rested her back on the front door. Eddie was in the courtyard and he had to climb the steps to get closer to the house. 

“I’m not leaving ‘ere until that bitch comes out ‘ere and faces me!” He thrusts his arm towards the house. Catherine hopes that Gillian had pressed the panic button and that her team is on their way. This is what she had trained to do but she was shitting herself. She knew how violent Eddie was from the extent of Gillian’s injuries and scars when she arrived at the station. She’s so glad that she had time to put her vest on over her long-sleeve top. In a way, Eddie reminds her of that scumbag Tommy-Lee Royce. Now’s not the time, she says to herself.

“She has done nothing wrong. If you want to talk, put the knife down.” She spots a car in the distance, it’s unmarked but she has a gut feeling that it’s her team. 

“I am not putting knife down.” His words are slurred and he is leaning against the car. 

“Eddie stop this. Drop the knife and hand yerself in.” Gillian’s head was resting on the open window of her bedroom which faced the courtyard. 

“Come ‘ere. I want to see yer.” He wasn’t even aware of the coppers that were now piling out of their cars on the lane. 

“I’ll come out. If, you drop the knife, Catherine can pick it up.” 

“Gillian this isn’t a good idea.” Catherine says as she shuffles against the door to look up at Gillian.   
“It’s the only way.” Gillian hoped that Catherine would understand what she was implying. She had wanted to say, the only way to get him alive but then it would alert Eddie to the armed police on the lane.

“It’s a deal.” These words shocked Catherine and Gillian. Eddie tossed the knife on the grass near Catherine. She didn’t move straight away. She would wait for Gillian to appear. 

“Right. I’ll be down now.” She closed the window. She had surprised herself with how brave she was being. Facing your abuser is never easy and many victims don’t get to do it. She is doing this so she can live a normal life and he can rot in prison. Catherine wanted to punch Gillian in the hope of knocking some sense into her. Eddie remained by the car as they waited for Gillian to appear. Catherine felt the door being unbolted and she stepped aside. The armed police hadn’t made their presence known yet, in order to keep Eddie calm and achieve a safe outcome. The front door was ajar. Gillian was standing on the path, Catherine by the door and Eddie by his car. 

“You wanted to talk, so talk.” Gillian was holding her ground, showing Eddie that she wasn’t scared. Internally, she is shitting bricks. Externally, she is strong. Catherine decided that she wouldn’t speak unless spoken too or if Eddie was getting too rowdy. 

“I knew I couldn't trust you from the beginning. I don’t know why I married you.” Eddie spat. His words weren’t affecting Gillian.

“If you thought that, then you could’ve divorced me earlier. It isn’t ‘ard.” Gillian was going to provoke him until he snapped and she knew the police would get to him before he could reach her. 

“It didn’t cross my mind as I enjoyed beating the living shit out of you.” He began edging closer to the steps and Gillian didn’t flinch. Catherine had never seen Gillian this resilient and it suited her. 

“Everything has to be ‘bout you, doesn’t it? You don’t see how you’ve ruined other people’s lives with what you’ve done. You have no remorse. You’re going to rot in prison. Robbie’s been arrested and so have your friends. You’re on your own.” Gillian edged closer to the stairs so she towered over Eddie. Catherine was holding herself back. She flicked her gaze to the armed team who were edging closer. 

“Robbie’s been arrested? Shit.” He stomped his foot on the ground. He looked so small now. 

“I hope someone beats you to a pulp in prison. You’ll get a taste of your own medicine, you pig-headed twat. You will not control my life anymore.” She stepped down so she was eye-level with Eddie. He flinched. Gillian laughed at his weakness. 

“Who's scared now, huh?” she could feel the anger bubbling inside her. She raised her hand as if she was going to slap him and he shrunk. He had never been this weak. Gillian grabbed his chin so he would look directly in her eyes. He tried to avert his eyes but Gillian’s grip got tighter. “It’s very amusing seeing you this weak and scared.” She knees him in the groin and he falls to the ground. The armed team rush in and make the arrest. Catherine hollered for an evidence bag for the knife. They had reason to believe that it is the same knife used in drug-related stabbings in Sowerby Bridge. Gillian ran back up the stone stairs to Catherine. 

“We’ll need to take a statement. I’ll have Steve take ours when we get to the station. We should get dressed properly and follow ‘em to the station. You okay?” Catherine placed a reassuring hand on Gillian’s arm. “I’m okay. I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t know I had it in me to taunt him like that.” Gillian looked up at Catherine who was smiling. She cocked her head in confusion. “I’m smiling ‘cos I’m so fucking proud of yer.” Catherine pulls Gillian into a warm embrace. Gillian is trembling against her. She doesn’t say anything. “What ‘appens now? Can Raff and Dad come home?” Gillian’s head rested just below Catherine’s shoulder. “In a day or two, they can. But you gotta get that third room sorted.” Catherine watched as her team drove off. The air was still. Catherine could see her breath as she exhaled. She desperately wanted a fag. They parted from their embrace. “I need a shower.” Gillian said as she eyed Catherine who was lost in her own thoughts. “You go and shower.” Gillian nodded and stepped inside. Catherine followed her inside, in search of her packet of cigarettes. They were dumped on the table with her lighter. She took off her vest, hung it on the back of a chair and snatched the box plus lighter up. 

Once she had finished her fag, she headed back inside. Gillian was in the kitchen cooking something. “What ya cooking?” Catherine said as she kicked her shoes off. “Scrambled eggs on toast. I thought we could eat before we head to station..” She felt stupid for doing this. “That sounds great. I’m starving. Should I butter the toast? It’s just popped up.” Catherine made her way to the toaster. “Go for it. I’ll plate yours first once you’ve done the toast. They ate in silence. The only sound was their knives and forks colliding with the china plates. “You gonna shower and get dressed before we go?” Gillian dumped the plates into the sink. “Uh yeah. I’ll head up now.” 

Catherine showered and returned downstairs. Gillian was brooding. “Gillian? You alright?” Catherine approached her cautiously, she didn’t want to scare her. Gillian turned to her. “Uh, I’m okay. I were just thinking about someone.” There was a twinkle in her eye which Catherine took as a sign that she was thinking about Caroline. “Shall we get this over with? I’ll collect my things later. Someone should be notifying Alan and Raff later on today.” Catherine watched as Gillian smiled shyly, “Let’s do this.”


	4. Girls night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Girls Night. Alcohol. Panic Attack. Comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank everyone enough for sticking with me and loving this book. This book currently holds the most hits out of all my works. I'm extremely happy that people have found this interesting and wanted to read it <3 
> 
> Love, Fearless <3

4 weeks later. 

Life had taken a turn towards normal. Eddie and Robbie’s trials had begun. The Dawson sisters had been supporting Gillian. Raff and Alan had been supportive too. They had moved back into the farm. Alan and Celia had been in contact after a small school reunion happened in Skipton. Caroline had met Alan who adored her. Raff had got himself a girlfriend, her name was Ellie. Gillian was happy that her family was all under one roof again. She had been job hunting but she hadn’t found anything yet. Caroline was planning on offering Gillian a job at the school, but she hasn’t said anything yet. Raff was staying with his girlfriend for the weekend. Celia and Alan were away in Whitby for a week. William had gone back to University and Lawrence was at John’s. Caroline had invited her sister and Gillian to her house for the weekend. They would get pissed together. 

Saturday. 

“Food’s here.” Caroline shouts as she slams the front door. Her arms are full of bags from the local Chinese. “Fuck yes.” Catherine and Gillian say in sync. Caroline dodges the two women who are practically drooling at the sight of the paper bags. She manages to get to the kitchen before being harassed. “I get you’re hungry but give me some room.” Caroline says as she places the bags on the counter. “Catherine, get the plates. You remember where they are?” Caroline starts opening the containers and Gillian starts sorting them out. They all ordered different things. Catherine placed the plates in the free spaces on the counter. They each loaded their plates with food and headed back into the living room. There were unopened wine bottles on the large coffee table with 3 large glasses. “Red or white first?” Gillian said as she eyed the bottles. “Red.” Caroline said, Catherine nodded in agreement and Gillian opened the bottle. She poured a generous amount into each glass. The conversation flowed as they ate and drank. The leftovers were shoved in the fridge and their dirty dishes in the dishwasher. 

“Alright, I ‘ave a confession to make.” Gillian said after Caroline stopped giggling. “You asked if I’ve ever made inappropriate advances towards anyone. It happened once. I was pissed out of my mind. Catherine here was staying at farm with me and I tried to kiss ‘er.” 

“Gillian! I thought we were never going to mention it! You were absolutely shit faced.” Catherine grabbed the cushion next to her and launched it at Gillian. 

“Wait, you’re serious? Gillian, this is brilliant.” Caroline laughs. Catherine sticks her middle finger up at Caroline as Gillian downs her wine. 

“She’s dead serious. But Caroline, do you have any confessions to make?” Catherine answered for Gillian who was embarrassed. Caroline rolled her eyes, “There’s one. When I first met Gillian and she agreed to stay here, I wanted to kiss her.” Catherine smirked at Caroline’s confession. Gillian nearly dropped the bottle of wine she had just opened. “I-” Gillian didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to react. She was so adamant that Caroline would never feel anything for her. She got that one wrong. This is not the time to have a panic attack, she thinks to herself. The room is quiet. Caroline feels stupid for saying it. Catherine is watching Gillian carefully. Gillian feels like the air has been knocked out of her lungs. She can’t breathe. “Gillian, are you okay?” Catherine’s word made Gillian jump. Flashbacks of Eddie’s harsh words were making her head hurt. She wanted him to stop. “Make him stop.” Gillian whispered. Catherine knew that Eddie was in her head. She wasn’t sure how to approach Gillian. “What do you want us to do?” Catherine spoke gently, which surprised Caroline as she hadn’t seen this side of her sister before. “Comfort.” is all Gillian could say. “Caz, do you still have that fluffy blanket that I got you for christmas?” Catherine looked at Caroline pleadingly. Caroline nodded and replied “It’s in the guest bedroom. I’ll grab it.” She returns a few moments with the large fluffy blanket. She gently wraps it around Gillian’s shoulders. Caroline’s touch is feather light as she doesn’t want to alarm Gillian. “Gillian, you’re so strong. You stood up to Eddie 4 weeks ago. He was scared of you. You had fucking balls to stand up to him like that. You deserve to be happy and loved.” Catherine’s words made Gillian feel comfortable. 

“Gillian, I’m always going to be here to support you. I know you’re suffering but you’re strong. He cannot touch you anymore. Any touch you will receive now will be full of kindness and love. Can I cuddle you?” Caroline’s voice was soft. Gillian nodded. Caroline slowly sat next to Gillian and wrapped her arm around Gillian’s shoulders. The blanket was soft and Gillian immediately calmed in Caroline’s arm. Catherine smiled at the sight. “I need to stop drinking so much.” Gillian whispered. Her heart thudding against her rib cage.

“Shall we head to bed so Gillian is more comfortable?” Catherine spoke as she collected the empty bottles off the table. Caroline nodded and turned to Gillian, “Where you do want to sleep? In your own room or would you like to share...with me?” Catherine had left the room and Caroline was glad that she didn’t hear the question. She loves her sister but sometimes Catherine can be a bit overbearing and judgemental. “With you.” At this moment in time, Gillian looked like a small child who was introverted and nervous around people. She was quiet and only spoke when spoken too. 

“Cath, the guest bedroom is yours. Gillian’s going to stay in with me. Could you take her bag up to my room?” Caroline asked as Catherine reappeared in the sitting. Catherine nodded and headed straight for the bag. Caroline had removed her arm from Gillian’s shoulders. Gillian had calmed but not completely. 

“Caroline…” “Yes Gillian?” “Are you sure about this?” 

“Yes. I want you to feel safe and calm.” Caroline smiled as Gillian blushed. Caroline rises from the sofa and holds out her hand. Gillian rose and took Caroline’s hand in her own. She laced their fingers together. As they walked towards the stairs, the blanket dragged along the wooden floor like a cape. Gillian chuckled as she attempted to climb the stairs with the blanket on. “I’m gonna fail if I don’t remove this blanket.” Gillian said as Caroline giggled. Caroline let go of Gillian’s hand, went back down two steps and picked the end of the blanket up. She asked Gillian to walk slowly so she could carry the end of the blanket without falling up the stairs. “You look like a villain.” Caroline said as they reached the top of the stairs. “Thank you. Which door?” Gillian laughed. “Directly in front of you.” Caroline replied. 

Caroline and Gillian got ready for bed. It took them longer than expected as they were still tipsy. Gillian’s panic attack had sobered them up a little but they still stumbled about. Now they lay in bed. I say in, Gillian is lying diagonally across the bed so Caroline cannot lay down. She can sit in the empty spaces. Gillian is humming a song which is vaguely familiar to Caroline. “Gillian, lay properly. This bed is made for two.” Caroline gently pushes her but Gillian doesn’t budge. “Gillian.” Caroline draws out the ‘n’ and watches as Gillian scrunches her nose. “All right, fine, I’ll move. But you have to say the next lyric in order for me to move. I’m gonna sing one line and you ‘ave to sing the next.” Caroline scoffs. “This time, baby,” Gillian sings and waits for Caroline to continue “I’ll be bulletproof.”

Gillian rolls over so she is facing Caroline who is sat cross legged. “Lay with me. There’s enough room now.” Gillian smirks and she feels the bed shift. Soon her and Caroline are laying face to face, both with their head on a hand. Their breaths mingled as they lay so close. Gillian flicks her gaze to Caroline’s lips and then back up to her gorgeous blue eyes. The room is lit by one lamp, casting shadows on the wall but it gives Caroline an angelic glow. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” Gillian’s voice was soft and it sent a shiver up Caroline’s spine. “Well, I’m thinking about a strong and beautiful farmer.” Caroline smiles as Gillian bites her lip. “I met her on the train. She fell asleep on my shoulder. I thought she was good looking but I didn’t express my feelings. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable and I didn’t want to make myself look like a fool. I’ve learnt more about her which has made my feelings stronger for her. She doesn’t see the effect she has on me.” Caroline moves her freehand to tuck a lock of Gillian’s hair behind her ear. Her fingertips brush Gillian’s cheek and goosebumps rise. Caroline’s face is closer than before as their noses are touching. Caroline tilts her head slightly as she brushes her lips against Gillian’s. It’s a light kiss and it’s over quickly. Gillian’s breath hitches as Caroline kisses her again. This time the kiss is soft and sensual. Gillian wraps her free hand around the back of Caroline’s neck. They break apart and Caroline gets off the bed. Gillian looks disappointed but then she realises what Caroline is doing. 

Caroline has stood her pillow up against the headboard. Caroline gets back on the bed and sits with her back resting on the pillow. Her legs are out straight under the duvet. Gillian crawls up the bed and sits on Carolines thighs. Caroline's hands rest on Gillian’s hips which are barely covered by an oversized shirt. Gillian’s left hand is cupping Caroline’s cheek. Gillian’s kiss is passionate. Caroline’s grip tightens on her hips. The heat from Gillian’s core is pressing into Caroline’s thighs. They pull apart for air and Gillian’s right hand is fiddling with the bottom of Caroline’s t-shirt. Caroline presses a kiss to Gillian’s forehead which is her way of giving Gillian permission. She feels Gillian’s hand travel up her stomach. Her breath hitches as Gillian traces the underside of her breast. Her eyes close and she lets out a small moan as Gillian toys with a nipple. “We shouldn’t be doing this now.” Gillian whispers in Caroline’s ear. “We can stop if you want.” Caroline whispered back. Gillian nods before pressing her lips to Caroline’s. Gillian gets off Caroline and flops down next to her. She slides under the duvet and waits for Caroline to join her. Gillian turns on her side so her back is towards Caroline. She feels Caroline snake an arm around Gillian’s waist. Caroline pulls Gillian’s back into her chest. She presses a kiss to the back of Gillian’s neck as her hair has parted slightly. Caroline notices a scar behind Gillian’s ear. It’s a cigarette burn and she feels the anger bubbling in the pit of her stomach. Her anger dissipates as she hears Gillian’s soft breathing. Gillian’s gone limp against Caroline and Caroline knows she is asleep. Caroline closes her eyes and whispers “I love you” before she drifts off to sleep.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Gillian and Caroline sung was Bulletproof by La Roux. This song now reminds me of Hebden Women's Disco. :)


	5. a fuck up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine fucks up and jeopardizes her career

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been watching Clocking Off and oh my god, Sarah looked amazing. Anyway, this took a little longer to write than I expected but I hope you enjoy it! :)
> 
> Stay safe! if you're ever bored or want someone to talk too, drop me a message on tumblr, my username is fearless-trash <3
> 
> love, Fearless x

Sunday Morning

“Alright, thanks for letting me know. I’ll tell ‘er.” Catherine ended the call. She had been woken up by her phone vibrating the bedside table. The call had sobered her up completely. “Oh shit” is all Catherine repeated as she paced the bedroom. She heard movement in the kitchen and she hoped it was Caroline. She needed Caroline to help her break the news to Gillian. She threw on her robe and some socks. She padded out into the kitchen and Caroline was making tea. 

“Caz.” Caroline dropped the spoon, “Bloody hell Catherine. You scared me.” “Sorry. I need to talk to you about something before Gillian gets up.” Catherine moved to stand next to her sister. “Oh shit, from your face I guess it’s bad news.” Catherine nodded. Caroline shoved a cup of tea in Catherine’s hands. “It’s Eddie. He’s been killed.” Catherine watched as her sister gripped the counter until her knuckles went white. “They’re going to investigate it but they’ll question Gillian. As she could have got someone to do it, she could’ve been in contact with someone at the prison. The officers will have to work this from every angle. It’s going to be tough for Gillian. Eddie will never be punished for what he did to her.” 

“Cath, what’s going on?” Gillian is sat two steps up from the bottom. “I need to tell you something.” Catherine watched Gillian’s face fall. “It’s about Eddie, isn’t it?” Gillian watched as Catherine nodded. “Right, let’s not beat around bush. Someone’s killed ‘im.” Caroline winces at her sister’s delivery of the news. “He were killed in prison?” Gillian wasn’t sure how to feel. She knew she would never get justice for what he did but it gave her some sense of closure. “Uh yeah. I don’t know much but someone beat him up badly. There is going to be an investigation. You will be investigated.” Caroline wanted to comfort Gillian but she wasn’t sure if Gillian would accept it. “Is it legal for me to be investigated? Like they ‘ave to rule me out?” Gillian stood up and headed into the kitchen. “It’s legal. They need to know if it is connected to someone outside of the prison or it’s a normal prison killing. I say normal, but what I mean is he’s probably provoked some knobhead and that same knobhead has taught him a lesson.” Catherine sipped her tea. Caroline stood rooted to the spot. She cursed Eddie for being such a twat and continuing to hurt Gillian even though she isn’t involved. “There’s also something else…” Catherine placed her mug on the counter in front of her. Gillian perched on one of the stools at the bar. “At the house where Eddie lived, we found some remains in a wall. They look rather old. They could date back before he bought house but we don’t know yet. We’ve called in a specialist team from London in to head the investigation and the test results should come in today. I’ll most likely be questioned ‘bout Eddie’s death.” Gillian was staring at her hands as Catherine spoke. She was trying to process everything. Gillian didn’t even notice that Caroline was standing next to her now. She could feel a hand rubbing her back soothingly but she hadn’t registered that it was Caroline. “I know it’s a lot to process and I’m here for you.” Caroline whispered in Gillian’s ear. Gillian lent into Caroline’s touch. Catherine smiled at the pair but she had a bad feeling niggling in the back of her head. “I’m going to shower unless you need me to help with breakfast?” Catherine drained her mug after she spoke. “No, it’s alright. I’ve got it covered.” Caroline smiled but it didn’t sit well with Catherine as she left the room. 

“How are you really? Don’t lie to me.” Caroline sat next to Gillian. 

“Honestly, I’m happy he’s dead. It gives me closure but it doesn’t give closer to other people who’ve suffered because of ‘im. I sound fucking mad for being happy he’s dead.” Gillian scrubbed her hands over her face. 

“You aren’t mad for being happy that he is dead. Yes he deserved to pay for what he did to you and everyone else but he deserves to die equally as much as he deserved to rot in prison. It will be a relief to those that suffered his manic behaviour.” Caroline pressed a light kiss to Gillian’s hair. 

“I feel like Catherine isn’t telling you everything. Something feels off about it.there might be a legitimate reason why she can’t tell you.” Caroline continued as Gillian shifted closer. 

“Caroline. I’m hungry and I don’t want to talk about this any more, for now. I want a lovely breakfast made by a gorgeous woman who can kiss brilliantly. So get that beautiful arse of yours over to that fridge.” Gillian smirked as Caroline’s breath audibly hitched. Caroline moved closer to Gillian’s ear. “If Catherine wasn’t here, I’d fuck you on this counter until you couldn’t remember your own name.” Gillian’s eyes closed and she bit her lip to suppress a moan. When she opened her eyes, Caroline was in the fridge pulling out different ingredients. “How do you like your eggs?” Caroline said as Gillian moved off the stool. Gillian approached Caroline and snaked her arms around Caroline’s waist from behind. Caroline leaned into Gillian’s touch. Caroline was taller than Gillian so Gillian had to stand on her tiptoes to kiss Caroline’s neck. “Oh that feels nice.” Caroline murmured as Gillian’s tongue explored the pale skin. “I like my eggs scrambled.” Gillian pulled away and gave Caroline a little slap on the arse. “Oi. That wasn’t needed.” Caroline smirked as Gillian watched her crack the egg. “It wasn’t needed but you definitely enjoyed it.” Gillian returned the smirk before setting the table with plates. She thanked her brain for remembering where they were. 

Catherine reappeared and sat at the table straight away. She didn’t breathe a word to her sister or Gillian. Caroline was tempted to say something but she will wait until Gillian is in the shower. Gillian helped Caroline prepare breakfast. They spoke about family and their plans for the rest of the day. Gillian disappeared upstairs for a shower in the bigger bathroom. This left Caroline and Catherine alone, they started the washing up in silence but that was quickly broken by Caroline. 

“Are you withholding information from Gillian?” Caroline cut straight to the chase. She placed the plate on the draining board as she spoke. 

“No. I’ve told ‘er everything that I can tell.” Catherine dried the plate before crossing the kitchen to slam it down in the cupboard. 

“I think you’re lying to me.” Caroline dropped the fork back into the water. 

“Fuck you.” Catherine threw the tea towel down on the side. 

“You can’t even deny it. I know you. You’re lying. Why are you lying? Gillian deserves to know everything. She’s been through enough shit.” Caroline removes her hands from the water and dries them on the tea towel. 

“I’m lying to protect ‘er.” Catherine shouted. She’s never raised her voice like that at Caroline before. Caroline flinched and her voice was quiet as she spoke, “What are you lying about?” Catherine swallowed as the words tumbled out of Caroline’s mouth. 

“I…” Catherine can’t say it. She’s fucked up big time. She hopes Caroline can figure it out. 

“Oh fuck. You didn’t, did you?” realisation hits Caroline like a ton of bricks and she cannot believe her sister would do something like that. “You got someone to murder him?!” Caroline’s voice was a quiet hiss. 

“They were only supposed to give me a beating not fucking murder ‘im. Before you start, I’m not proud of what I did. I fucked up.” Catherine was waiting for Caroline to come out with some sarcastic and bitchy comment. 

“Get out of my house.” is all Caroline said. 

“Fuck you, you self entitled bich.” Catherine snatched her bag from the guest room and left. 

Caroline was pissed at Catherine for being so reckless. But she was glad that Gillian wasn’t in the room when they argued. She finished the dishes and waited for Gillian to reappear. Gillian appeared at the bottom of the stairs in just a towel. Her hair was dripping on the floor as she waited for Caroline to register that she was there. 

“Caroline?” She drew out the ‘e’ playfully like Caroline had done with her name the night before. 

“Holy Fuck.” was Caroline’s response as she turned to face a soaking-wet towel clad Gillian. Gillian blushed at the response. 

“I wondered if you wanted to join me but now I…. feel a bit silly asking.” Gillian looked at the floor as she was too embarrassed to look at Caroline. 

“I’d love to join you.” Caroline smiles softly as she approaches Gillian. 

“I don’t want you to be put off by my….” she couldn’t say the word but Caroline knew what Gillian wanted to say. 

“The scars will not put me off, if anything, they’ll make me more attracted to you. You’re beautiful, with or without scars.” Caroline placed a finger under Gillian’s chin and tilted her head up. 

“He used to call me beautiful before he’d hit me or…. Do other things.” Gillian’s voice was quiet. 

“I can call you something different if you’d like.” Caroline traced Gillian’s jaw with her finger. 

“No. You calling me beautiful should be a good memory.” Gillian smiled slightly.

“Let’s go back upstairs, shall we?” Gillian nodded and led Caroline upstairs. 

After wasting a lot of water, the pair got dried and dressed. Gillian helped Caroline tidy the bedroom. Gillian asked where Catherine had gone and Caroline said she got called into work. In reality, she had no idea where Catherine had gone. Caroline tried to push Catherine’s confession to the back of her mind and focus on Gillian. Caroline didn’t want Gillian to leave. They'd enjoyed each other’s company. Caroline was checking her phone while Gillian finished packing her bag. Before Caroline can say anything, she is being pushed up against the wall, her phone drops to the floor as Gillian pins her wrist to the wall and Gillian starts kissing her neck. She nibbles on Caroline’s ear lobe and Caroline moans. Gillian works her way across Caroline’s jaw before kissing her passionately. Gillian knew she had to stop soon as she had to go home. She could feel Caroline’s hands trying to break free from her grip. She let go of Caroline’s wrist and Caroline’s hands found Gillian’s waist. One of Caroline’s hands ventured under Gillian’s t-shirt. She stroked Gillian’s toned stomach. She paid extra attention to the scars and touched them with so much love that it made Gillian weak at the knees. They broke apart for air and their foreheads rested on each other. Their breaths mingled and their eyes were locked in a loving gaze. “I need to go.” Gillian whispered and it tickled Caroline’s face. She giggled which made Gillian smile. “I know you have to go. I have a question to ask you.” Caroline slipped a hand into Gillian’s wet hair. She runs her fingers through it gently. “What’s the question?” Gillian sighs at the sensation of Caroline playing with her hair. “Would you like to come to dinner with me on Friday?” Caroline watched as Gillian’s smile grew wider. “I would love too. Is it a date?” Caroline blushed, “Yeah I suppose it is.” “I’ll see you on Friday then unless we give into temptation.” Gillian smirks as Caroline untangles her hand from Gillian’s hair. “I’ll walk you out to your precious Land Rover.” 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Gillian returned home, Raff was in the kitchen doing some homework. “Mam, there was a phone call for ya earlier. It were Catherine, she said she needed to speak to you and that you should ring ‘er when you aren’t busy. She sounded dead serious. I thought she was with you and Caroline last night.” Raff spoke as his mother loaded the washing machine. 

“She were, but she got called into work this morning after breakfast. I think Caroline may have had argument with ‘er. I were in shower when I heard them shouting at each other. I didn’t say anything to Caroline as it’s got nowt to do with me.” Gillian slammed the door and turned the dial to the correct cycle. “I’m gonna head upstairs and ring our Catherine to see what she wants.” Gillian grabbed her half empty bag and darted upstairs. She slammed her bedroom door, kicked off her shoes, threw her bag on the chair in the corner and dialed Catherine’s number. It rang twice before the line clicked. 

“Hiya, Catherine, it’s Gillian.” 

“Hi Gillian. Right I’m gonna tell you this now, you will not be questioned for the remains in the wall as they date back to the 1980s. Anyway, there’s something else. Me and our Caroline had a fight before I left. I did something stupid and Caroline is pissed off. It doesn’t matter. I just wanted to give you the ‘eads up that you’ll be called to the nick tomorrow for an interview about Eddie’s murder. I assume you haven’t told Raff and I assume you’re going to tell him soon. please don't tell Caroline our secret. I'll tell her." 

“Yeah, I’m gonna tell ‘im later. Caz was alright when I left ‘er. She said you’d gone to work. She won't take it well when you tell 'er.” Gillian was biting her fingernails. A nervous habit she’s had since she was a teenager.

“Well I stormed off and I ended up going to work. I spent 20 minutes doing paperwork and then going through stuff for court. i'm hoping she doesn't cause world war bloody three with her reaction." 

"Thinking ‘bout it now, she was a little distracted but I didn’t think anything of it before. You should talk to ‘er.”

“I will. I need to figure out how to approach subject with ‘er as she was fuming when I stormed out. Look, i won’t keep ya. Let me know how it goes with Raff?” 

“Uh yeah, I’ll drop ya’ a text.” Catherine hangs up once Gillian has stopped speaking. 

Gillian sighs and throws her phone on the bed. “You can do this.” she repeats to herself as she paces the room. She repeats the mantra as she goes downstairs. 

Telling Raff was easier than she had thought it would be. Raff guessed that something was up when Catherine had called. He was upset but at the same time, he knew his dad deserved what ever came to him. Raff had been aware of what had happened as he grew up. He hated Eddie for what he did to his mum. Raff knew his mum was strong and that she would always look after him. She reminded him that he is nothing like his father. Which is true, he hates violence and is caring like his mother. One thing which surprised Gillian is Raff wanting to speak to Caroline. Raff and Caroline had grown close which warmed Gillian’s heart. She was worried that Raff would take some time to get used to their relationship? They hadn’t exactly discussed what they were. Caroline had spoken to Raff over the phone and promised to visit him before the end of the week. Caroline had also let slip that they were going on a date on Friday which made Raff smile. He looked up to Caroline and he had a soft spot for Catherine even though she scared the living shit out of him at times. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Caroline had just got off the phone with Raff when someone was buzzing to get in at the gate. She clicked the speaker button and asked who it was. It was two police officers. She buzzed them in straight away. Once, Caroline and the officers were (somewhat) settled in the living room. The female officer started talking. 

“You’re Catherine Cawood’s sister, correct? I’m Ann. This is my partner, Cheryl. We’ve worked with Catherine before. We have some news for you.” 

“Yes I am. What’s going on? Has something happened?” Caroline was worried. She didn’t know what to think. 

“Catherine has been questioned about the murder of Eddie Greenwood and we’re keeping her in overnight. We cannot disclose anything further. She’s asked if you can pick her up when she’s released in morning. She wanted someone to tell you in person and not over the phone.” Ann’s voice was stern but her body language was tense.

“What time will she be released?” Caroline watched Cheryl shift in her seat. 

“Most likely, around 10am.”

“Okay…” Caroline didn’t know what else to say. 

“Do you have any questions?” Cheryl finally spoke. Caroline shook her head. She didn’t have any questions for them. She had a shit ton of questions for her sister. 

“I’ll show you out.” Caroline said as Ann and Cheryl rose from their seat. 

Cheryl and Ann left. Lawrence was dropped off by John. Lawrence went straight to his room while Caroline hit the wine. She had a bottle and then went to bed.


	6. what a shit week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine has another shit day. Caroline also has a shit day. Gillian has a shit day but it has a better ending than Catherine's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters in 1 day? I'm treating you :) Don't worry, Catherine will have a good day soon! ;)
> 
> any feedback is highly appreciated! x 
> 
> stay safe!  
> love, fearless :)

“Get in the car. Now.” Caroline said calmly as her sister exited the police station. Catherine did as Caroline said. She slammed the passenger door of the Range Rover. Caroline climbed into the driver’s side and put her seat belt on. She pressed the button and the car came to life. She pulled away from the station. 

“You have a lot of explaining to do so get started. I’ve had to take the morning off work because of you!” Caroline’s focus was on the road but she could tell her sister was uncomfortable. 

“So, I were doing court prep for Robbie’s trial and I’m called downstairs. I got downstairs and I were led to an interview room. They told me to sit and wait. I waited and two detectives appeared. They asked me about the Greenwood case. Then they asked if I had connections at prison where Eddie were held. I said there’s many people I've arrested there. I told them I’ve had no contact with any inmates at prison. I have a mate who is a guard there. We’ve been out for a few bevvys before. They asked me if I’ve seen him, my mate, recently and I said yeah, a couple of weeks ago,mind. It was his birthday.” Catherine’s leg shook up and down as she spoke. Caroline had pulled the car over in a layby so she could listen to Catherine properly.

“They kept me overnight just in case they found anything incriminating, which they haven’t and they won't. I covered my tracks and so did my mate. They’re bringing Gillian in today and I’m worried about ‘er. I don’t want her tangled up in this.” 

“Well, Sherlock, you should’ve thought of that before getting some shithead to beat him up and kill him!! You’ve jeopardised everything you’ve worked for if you get found out and do not get me involved. For once in my fucking life, I am happy. I have a chance at happiness again after Kate and I certainly do not need you fucking this up for me or Gillian. Did you even stop to think how upset Clare, Ryan and Daniel would feel if you got arrested for this?!” Caroline flings her seatbelt off and rests her head on the steering wheel. 

“I get it. I’ve fucked up and I would never get you involved. I didn’t intend for Eddie to die. I just wanted him to have a good kicking so he knows what it felt like. But the blokes who did it went too fucking far. I am not owning up to this. I am not going to prison. It’s my secret and I’m going to carry it with me for the rest of my life. I’m not perfect Caroline and neither are you. I got you out of trouble for that fucking possession charge. So in a way you owe me!” she smacked her hand down on the dashboard. 

“They weren’t even mine. I found them in Lawrence’s room. I was bringing them to the nick when I got pulled over because one of my brake lights was out! I didn’t ask you, I implied as it doesn’t look good on my record does it? I am the headteacher of one of the best schools in Yorkshire and I’m on the board for 3 other schools, I need a clean record otherwise I cannot be trusted with students. My job means the world to me and I wasn’t throwing it away for a possession charge. I told you that I was grateful for what you did.” Caroline was now sitting up and facing her sister. 

“You really are full of yourself. I helped you, I get that but I got in trouble for that. It were nothing major but it didn't help my image either. I hated it on the beat. Why do you think I got off the streets as quick as I could. I nearly fucking died. Witness Protection isn’t much better but more people get justice. I get to protect the victims and actually make a bigger difference than I did on beat. I am so fucking sick of clearing up your mess. I’ve had to bail out John multiple times and Lawrence twice. I cannot pull any more favours. I’ve come to terms with what I’ve done, if I get sent down, then I get sent down. I fucked up and I’ve accepted that.” 

“I cannot lose you. I wouldn’t be able to cope. You helped me with my grief after Kate died. I need you Catherine. I may sound selfish but what about Gillian? She needs you as well. She trusts you with her life. You’ve helped her. I’m scared if she loses you, she’ll go off the rails. She relies on you more than you realise. It would kill her if she found out that you did this. So if you really believe that you won’t get caught then we can work through this. If you’re lying to me about anything, I am disowning you. Is there anything else you’d like to tell me before I drive you home?” Caroline pulled on her seatbelt. 

“I slept with Gillian.” Catherine said quietly.

“When?!” Caroline was shocked. 

“Last year. We were tipsy and we had a shit day. I were staying with her as it was my shift up there.” Catherine looked at her sister, whose expression was unreadable. 

“Hold on, let me get this straight. My sister has shagged the woman I am in love with? It happened once, right?” Caroline was praying that it was just the once and not multiple times.

“Just the once. I’ve been with a few women since the divorce and other stuff that happened. I didn’t know how to tell ya and if mum found out, she would have a stroke or summat. Gillian wanted to tell ya but I thought it would be best if it came from me.” 

“So you’ve slept with a victim while on duty, got someone to beat up her ex-husband and now you’re being questioned for murdering her ex-husband while the trial for her ex-husband’s brother is happening? That hole you’re digging is getting deeper and you quite possibly have no escape. What were you thinking? Actually, forget I said that, were you actually thinking?” 

“When you put it like that, no I wasn't thinking. Me and Gillian both regretted it the morning after. It weren’t planned, it just happened and it were a stupid mistake.” 

“You’ve really changed. Look, I need to get back to work. I’ll drop you home.” 

"What a shit week!" Catherine shouts as Caroline pulls back onto the motorway.

Caroline dropped Catherine off and headed back to school. Luckily she didn’t have to cancel any meetings. She was behind on paperwork again. Her mother had phoned and told stories of her trip with Alan to Whitby. Alan was back at the farm and Celia was at Caroline’s. She had her head buried in paperwork when her mobile rang again, it was Gillian. She had her interview today.

“Hello Gillian, is everything okay?” Caroline threw the biro down on the piles of paper. 

“I’m waiting to be interviewed. They said Catherine had been questioned already. I wanted to know how it went but she didn’t pick up. So I hoped you would know.” her voice was shaky. Caroline felt sorry for her. Police stations were Gillian’s worst nightmare. 

“Oh it shouldn’t take too long. Catherine wasn’t there for long.just stay calm and answer all their questions as thoroughly as you can. You have nothing to hide as you’ve done nothing wrong.” She hated lying to Gillian but she wanted to keep Catherine’s secret. 

“Dad dropped me off and I’ve got to ring him when I’m done. He’s been telling me about his week with Celia. They’re getting on brilliantly which is a good sign. Oh shit, I need to go. Talk soon.” Gillian hung up and Caroline was left on her own. She carried on with her paperwork until lunchtime. She went out and bought some lunch. She returned just after the bell went for last period. She had a phone call with the board which took up the last hour of the school day. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She got home and Celia was cooking dinner. Lawrence was doing his homework at the dining room table. Celia was singing along to the radio. Caroline dumped her bags in the porch, slipped off her coat and made her way through. “Hi Mum, what are you cooking?” Caroline smiled as she watched her mum. “It’s a surprise. I made Lawrence do his homework down ‘ere. I’m assuming you have work to do, you can join him at the table if you’d like. Then I’ll bring the food over when it’s done.” Celia smiled at Caroline. “That sounds lovely. I’ll just grab my laptop.” Caroline went back into the porch and grabbed her laptop bag. She spent 40 minutes typing away until Celia put a plate next to her. Celia told more stories of her little trip and how great Alan is. Lawrence ate his food and disappeared upstairs. 

“I spoke to our Catherine today and she’s helping Gillian prepare for the trial.” This confession from Celia shocked Caroline. 

“You spoke to Cath? I thought you didn’t want anything to do with her.” Caroline put her fork down on her plate. 

“I wanted to see how she was coping. The case sounded so stressful and I told her that she could talk to me if she wanted. “ Celia watched as Caroline smiled. 

“I’m glad you’re starting to fix things with her. She does a brilliant job and she misses you.” Caroline watched her mother’s smile fade.

“I know I messed it up with her. But I’ve changed and I want my daughter back. I need a lift to the farm, could you take me?” 

“We’ll need to do the washing up before we go. Lawrence will be alright here on his own.”

“Alright. Thank you Caroline.” 

The drive over to the farm was quick. There was no traffic and Celia was singing along to the 80s tunes on the radio again. When they arrived, Gillian was perched on the front wall with a cup of tea. She looked tired, Caroline thought. Celia got out of the Rover and went straight inside. She waved at Gillian as she walked past. Caroline parked properly and went to sit with Gillian. The pair didn’t realise that they were being watched by their parents. 

“Cath told me that she told you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to, but I didn’t know ‘ow to bring it up.” Gillian rested her head on Caroline’s shoulder.

“It’s alright. It was better hearing it from Catherine anyway. I was shocked at first as I didn’t know that Cath had been with women. But she said it was a mistake and I trust both of you.” Caroline’s hand rested on Gillian’s thigh. Her thumb tracing patterns on Gillian’s jeans. 

“So you’re not disappointed? I thought you would be disappointed in me for doing that. I mean I didn’t know you when it happened but I were certain that you’d feel betrayed or summat.” 

“You’re daft. I could never be disappointed in you. I was slightly disappointed in Catherine for not telling me straight away when she knew what was happening between us. She was upset with herself for lying to me but I forgave her. Get this, mum spoke to her today. Mum wants to be back in Catherine’s life. I was shocked when she told me before we came here.” Caroline felt Gillian tense at the mention of Celia. 

“Dad told me that ‘im and Celia kissed a couple of times when they were in Whitby. They’re falling in love Caroline. I can see it when he talks about ‘er.” 

“You’re kidding?!” Caroline’s thumb stopped tracing patterns.

“I wish I were. That’s why I am out ‘ere brooding. Our lives are overly complicated sometimes.” Gillian gestured to the valley in front of her. 

“How was the interview?” Caroline started tracing the patterns again and she felt Gillian calm. 

“It were scary but I answered all their questions best I could. I were in the station for about an hour. Dad picked me up and we did some shopping.” Gillian placed her mug on the wall next to her.

“I’ve missed you.” Gillian says quietly. 

“I’ve missed you too. We still on for Friday, providing nothing happens before then?” Caroline nudged Gillian’s head so Gillian sat up. Caroline got down from the wall and stood in front of Gillian. Gillian opened her legs and Caroline stood between them. Caroline pressed a light kiss to Gillian’s forehead. Gillian closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Caroline’s waist, pulling her closer Caroline lent down to Gillian’s ear and whispered, “My mum and your dad are watching us.” Gillian chuckled. “At least we aren’t doing anything inappropriate. I think me dad would have a heart attack if he ever walked in on us fucking.” Caroline laughed in Gillian’s ear. 

“I need to go. I left Lawrence at home on his own.” Caroline kissed Gillian passionately before escaping her grip. “Drive Safe!” Gillian shouted as Caroline climbed into her car. Caroline got a phone call driving home, she clicked accept on the touch screen in the car and waited for Catherine to speak.

“We have a problem.” Catherine spoke quietly.

“What is it now?” Caroline was getting pissed off with her sister’s actions.

“I’ve been suspended pending investigation of my conduct with Gillian. Someone has found out that I slept with Gillian while on duty.” 


	7. a spy and a blast from the past.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catherine figures out who has been spying on her. Gillian meets someone from the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cassie will become more important in the next chapter but I needed to introduce her in this chapter. This chapter is a bit of a filler as I'm starting to bring this story to an end. 
> 
> This now has over 400 hits and I am freaking out. you're all amazing. thank you again for the love <3
> 
> anyway, stay safe!  
> love, Fearless

Catherine hated the interview room. Well, she hates it now she’s being questioned, again. She cannot catch a break at the minute. She knew her mistakes would bite her in the arse but she didn’t expect them to bite this hard. Catherine had a good idea who leaked her secret and she couldn’t wait to see her face. Catherine had always had suspicions about Cheryl. She never seemed to be focused on her job. She had an obsession with the Greenwood case which wasn’t normal. It took over her life. When Cheryl had been transferred to Catherine’s team, she thought it had been a mistake but now she’s finally realised why Cheryl was transferred. The big bosses were using Cheryl to spy on Catherine. Catherine had to give her credit, she did her job brilliantly and she didn’t get caught. The one thing that was giving Catherine a headache was how Cheryl found out about the one night stand. The only logical way she would know is she came back to the farm and heard them. She had to explain that it only happened once. It was a stupid mistake and it was never spoke of again, until now. She reiterated that it was consensual and at the time, they both wanted it. Catherine also stated that she had half a glass of wine at dinner, which was a lie as she had drunk more. She answered the rest of their questions and was let go. She went straight home to Clare to explain everything. 

Gillian’s interview was shorter than Catherine’s. They just wanted to confirm what Catherine had said matched Gillian’s story which it did. Robbie’s trial had been delayed for a day or two but they hadn’t told Gillian why. Gillian hoped that Catherine wouldn’t lose her job over a stupid mistake. Catherine was brilliant at her job. She was dedicated and fearless. Gillian was counting down the days until her date. She cursed the days for going slow. It was only Tuesday and it felt like it should’ve been Thursday because of how busy she’d been. Gillian just pulled into the courtyard when she got a text from Cassie. 40 minutes later, she is pulling into the car park of a restaurant. Cassie is waiting for her by the entrance. Gillian climbs out of the Land Rover and rushes over to Cassie. They pull each other in for a hug. They pulled apart and entered the restaurant. They were shown to a table. “How old are ya now?” Gillian watched Cassie sip her lemonade. “Turned 19 about 2 weeks ago now. I’ve missed you so much.” Cassie smiled at Gillian. “Raff doesn’t remember you. He were young though. He’s nearly finished his a-levels now.” Gillian smiled as she talked of her son. “Where d’ya live now? I know you moved out from the estate.” “I live up on a farm. You’d love it. The view is gorgeous and I have sheep. I’ve missed you too, you know.” she watched Cassie’s eye twinkle in the light. “I’m thinking of moving to Halifax. Mum and her new fella have left me a shit ton of money.... Is Catherine still around?” Cassie had a strong attachment to Catherine. She had always relied on her. “Yeah. She’s been working on my case. Eddie’s dead and Robbie’s in prison.” “Bloody hell. I’m sorry.” Cassie watched Gillian’s body language change. She seemed lighter and happier. “It’s alright. I’m glad he’s dead. I’m seeing someone new. She’s bloody gorgeous.” the waiter placed their plates in front of them and they started eating.“She?! Oh my god, I’m happy for you! Can I meet her?!” Cassie nearly choked on her chip, she was that excited. 

“Yes you’ll get to meet her if you stick around. Where you planning on living?” Gillian sipped her water as she watched Cassie eat. “I were hoping I could bunk with you for a bit until I get sorted but if that’s a problem then I can stay in hotel for a couple of days.” “Well, Dad’s moved in with a friend so we have a spare bedroom if you want it.” Gillian smiled as Cassie’s grin grows wider. “That’s great. I need to get my stuff from the hotel. When can I meet your-” Cassie is cut off by Gillian’s phone pinging. It’s a text message from Caroline. “You’ll meet her tonight. She’s coming by farm at 6. We’ll need to finish here and get your stuff.” 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 hours later.

Caroline is parked up in the courtyard. She spots someone sitting on the wall. She knows it isn’t Gillian as they’re far too young and too tall to be Gillian. She smiles at the girl as she walks up the stairs to the front door. She pushes on the front door and steps inside. 

“Caz, you made it!” Gillian smiles and kisses her cheek. 

“Who is that on the wall outside?” Caroline turns her head to the door. 

“Ah, that’s Cassie. She grew up on the estate where I used to live. I looked after her sometimes when she were younger. She’s moved in, now dad’s living with your mum.” 

“Where are her parents?” Caroline was guided to the sofa and pushed down into the cushion. 

“Dad’s dead. Mum was killed by her new fella. He's in prison now. Left Cassie a shit ton of money. She’s only just turned nineteen and she’s on her own.” Gillian curled into Caroline’s side. The front door clicked shut and Cassie shyly shuffled into the room. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt but I was wondering if you’ve seen my pills?.” Cassie leant on the porch door as she spoke. She looked at Caroline before flicking her gaze to Gillian. 

“Bathroom cabinet. Top shelf.” Gillian replied quickly, slightly worried.

“Thank you. I’m guessing this is Caroline. I’m Cassie, nice to meet you.” Cassie stepped into the room and smiled at Caroline. “Nice to meet you Cassie.” she smiled at the young girl. 

“I’m gonna head up. I’ve got some stuff to unpack before bed. Bye lovebirds.” she kissed Gillian’s hair as she walked past and headed up the stairs. They waited for the bedroom door to close before they started talking. 

“How’d the interview go?” Caroline closed her eyes as Gillian massaged her thigh. 

“It were all right. I weren’t there long. Apparently, Robbie wants to plead guilty for every single one of the charges against him.” Gillian’s voice was calm. 

“That’s a good thing, right? Are they any closer to finding out Eddie’s killer?” Caroline felt sick talking about it and hiding Catherin’s secret. 

“They’ve got a lead which looks credible. He’d been in fights. So he must’ve pissed some people off.” Gillian feels Caroline turning her. Gillian’s back was now facing Caroline, who had shifted and started massaging Gillian’s shoulders.

“Holy fuck, you’re good at that.” Gillian closed her eyes and tried to ignore her arousal. 

“Two nights in a row I’ve ended up here. Why does Friday have to be the only day I finish early. Talking of work, I wanted to talk to you about something. You said you were looking for a job, right?” Caroline stopped massaging Gillian’s shoulders but her hand rested between her shoulder blades. 

“Yeah, what do you have in mind?” Gillian felt relaxed and very sleepy. Caroline was brilliant with her hands. 

“Well I’ve been looking for someone who can help me with my day to day at school. So you would arrange meetings and stuff. You’d run everything through me before confirming it.” Caroline was praying to her lucky stars that Gillian would say yes. 

“That sounds alright. I’ll do it. I can dress up smart. I may need some new clothes though.” 

“I can take you shopping on Saturday. I’ll pay for your new things.” 

“Caz, I can’t have you doing that. It’s too much.” Gillian turned her body so she could see Caroline.

“I want to spoil you. End of.” Caroline kissed Gillian softly to stop her from saying anything. 

“Have you heard from Catherine?” Gillian said as they broke apart. 

“No. I’m sure we’ll find out soon what’s going on. I need to go. I love you.” Caroline said as she rose from the sofa.

“I love you too.” the pair smiled at each other. Gillian walked Caroline out and kissed her goodbye.


	8. flyby weekend.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little reflection on how life is changing for Catherine, Caroline and Gillian.
> 
> (brief mentions of Kate and Becky)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is way shorter than I planned. it's a bit shit. i am functioning on little sleep and i feel like i'm high thanks to my new medication. i promise that 9 will be good as it's the last one.
> 
> anyway, stay safe! 
> 
> love, fearless x

Gillian’s court appearance had brought back some terrible memories of what Robbie did to her. But that did not stop her from going on her date with Caroline. Gillian found out that one of Caroline’s guilty pleasures is hair pulling. It drives Caroline crazy when her hair is pulled. She likes it rough when she’s in the right mood. With Kate, it was soft and sensual. With Gillian, it’s hot, passionate and rough. The first time they fucked, Gillian left many bites over Caroline. The second time, Caroline left scratch marks down Gillian’s back. The third time they fucked that night, both had bites, scratches and imprints of fingers in their skin. Gillian learnt that Caroline was loud and liked to be submissive, rather than dominant. However, Gillian found it extremely arousing when Caz was in charge. 

Caroline wanted Gillian to forget about everything bad that had happened and she clearly managed it. Gillian was fast asleep when she woke up. She was sore all over but she felt content. Gillian had mentioned that the Jury would come back on Monday. They both had a feeling that the Jury would agree with the guilty verdict and that he would spend the rest of his life in prison. Caroline got up slowly and decided to make Gillian breakfast in bed. When Caroline appeared back upstairs, Gillian was sat up in Caroline’s bed. “Good morning gorgeous.” Caroline kissed Gillian’s forehead as she placed the tray on Gillian’s lap. “Good mornin’ ma’am.” Gillian smirked as Caroline hummed in response. “There was something you wanted to tell me last night before we got a bit preoccupied. What is it?” Caroline climbed back into bed and stole the bowl full of porridge from the tray. “Oh, Cassie has asked me if I’ll become her legal guardian.” Gillian watched as Caroline’s face lit up, “Oh that’s brilliant.” “me and Catherine were always looking out for her on the estate. Catherine were basically ‘er mother at one point. I’m surprised she didn’t mention ‘er.” Gillian took a bite of her toast once she finished speaking. “Me and Cath weren’t talking much when she was in uniform. It was tense thanks to our mother.She can be a right bitch at times.” Caroline watched as Gillian started laughing. “Stop it Gillian.” Caroline shoved the brunette’s shoulder playfully. “Sorry. I’ll go back to eating my lovely breakfast. Thank you for doing this.” Gillian placed a sticky kiss to Caroline’s cheek. “You’ve a bit of butter on yer face.” Gillian said cheekily. “Do I? I didn’t realise.” Caroline replied sarcastically. They finished their breakfast and headed for a shower. After their shower, they tidied up the bedroom and washed the dirty dishes. Caroline was dropping Gillian off at the farm after their shopping trip.

The rest of the day flew by. Caroline had lunch with Celia and Alan at their flat. Gillian, Cassie and Raff were busy on the farm. Lawrence was with Angus. William was stuck in Oxford. Caroline was thinking about moving houses. She didn’t need all this space just for herself and Lawrence. The spare room came in handy if Catherine or any other guest stayed. She loves the garden but it doesn’t feel like home. She spends more of her time at school or travelling to Gillian’s. She barely went to Catherine’s. She had thought about Huddersfield which is slightly closer to Gillian but further to travel for work. She pushed that to the back of her mind as she drove into the driveway. She needed to catch up on the paperwork for Monday’s meeting. But she couldn’t focus. All she could think about was Gillian and what she could do with that tongue of hers. “You sound like a sex-crazed freak.” Caroline said to herself as she shuffled some papers around.

Sunday was a relatively quiet day. It was sunny and warm for this time of year. Caroline was sitting in the garden reading a book while Lawrence messed about with a rugby ball. John had popped round earlier and dropped off some of Lawrence’s school things that he had left at his father’s house. John was a delight, as always. He enjoyed running his mouth and his favourite phrase for Caroline was “Mad old dyke.” Caroline just laughed it off and pushed him out of the front door. His words weren’t hurtful, they just made him look like a twat, who clearly wasn’t over Caroline. Lawrence was planning on going to university but he needed to get his arse into gear. His grades were appalling going into exam season.

Catherine and Clare spent the day at the allotment and visited Becky’s grave. Catherine had been to the cemetery in months as work had kept her extremely occupied. She often spoke to Becky, during the day, when she was alone. She would picture Becky watching her as she worked. Catherine was considering retirement or a more permanent desk job. She wasn’t getting any younger. She’d miss being in on the action but her body was starting to ache more and she couldn’t run as fast as she could in her prime. 

Caroline would do the same. She would talk to Kate. She missed Kate but she knew Kate was happy that she’d moved on. There’s one part that (ghost) Kate had said which makes Caroline smile.  _ You deserve to be happy. Gillian is perfect for you. You can help her heal.  _ Kate seemed to appear at all the right times. When she was stressed, down or procrastinating. 

Gillian was excited to start her new job with Caroline. It was a new start for Gillian. She’s nearly 50 and she’s only just getting a proper, paid job. She hadn’t had a paid job in years because of Eddie. Her son was planning to go to university and she was becoming a grandmother. She cursed her son for not being careful but at the same time, she was over the moon. Cassie was still helping around the farm but she had a job at the local primary school. Gillian knew that Raff would move out soon which upset her as he was growing up faster than Gillian liked. Raff had been worried that he would be like his father but he was gentle and kind like his mother and his grandad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sally Wainwright better make bi Gillian canon in series 6 (if there is another series), otherwise I am suing her x


	9. stability and sex.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gillian's life now has normality and stability. 
> 
> (Heads up, Celia is a bitch like always. xo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the final chapter. I had planned 10 but that was pushing it. I decided on a small time jump to show how life has changed for the happy couple. I hope you've enjoyed reading this. I've had fun writing it (even though I nearly gave up). Thank you so so much for all the love and support <3 I will back very shortly with some more works :))
> 
> remember, stay safe. 
> 
> much love, fearless x

There was some normality to Gillian’s life now. She could go out on her own, without being followed by her protection team. She had a stable job, the farm was well looked after now Raff had finished his A-levels and had free time to do the jobs his mother used to do. Work was full of sexual tension between Gillian and Caroline. They had been discreet regarding their relationship at work. Anyone in the same room as them could probably figure out what was going on. The longing glances, Gillian spending a little too long in Caroline’s office and the whispers between the two as they walked the corridors together. 

Gillian had kept to herself. She didn’t communicate with any of Caroline’s staff unless it was necessary. One thing that Gillian had learnt is that Caroline can be very strict, which isn't a bad thing, if you catch my drift. Head Bitch in Charge Caroline was definitely something that Gillian would like to experience in the bedroom. One of the teachers from the English department had been flirting with Caroline while Gillian was present. So Gillian managed to catch Caroline, alone in the staff toilets. 

One minute Caroline is adjusting her fringe in the mirror. The next, she is pinned against the tiles. Her arms are pinned against her sides. “Do not speak.” Gillian whispered into her ear. Caroline could feel the stirring of arousal in the pit of her stomach. “You’re mine and only mine.” Gillian watched as Caroline’s expression turned into a smirk. “Is that jealousy dripping from that tone of yours?” Caroline managed to break free of Gillian’s grip and pinned the smaller woman against the wall. “I do not appreciate your tone.” Caroline spoke quietly. Her voice low which she knew affected Gillian massively. Gillian’s eyes close and she bites her lip to stop herself from moaning. “She’s shit in bed. I’ve been there. Done that. Regretted it after.” Caroline’s smirk grew as Gillian’s eyes flew open. She loosened her grip on Gillian as she kissed her. “We. should. probably. stop.” Gillian said between kisses. “Shit you’re right.” Caroline pulled away and Gillian readjusted her clothing. Caroline did the same as she stood in front of the mirror. “I didn’t expect it to be this hard.” Gillian said as she approached Caroline. “You’re very attractive in your work clothes. I must admit, it is a weakness of mine.” Gillian said as she watched Caroline readjusting her skirt. Caroline smiled and that twinkle of desire was still present in her blue eyes. “Back to work.” Caroline ordered into Gillian’s ear. Gillian exited the toilets and Caroline sighed. She loved coming into work and seeing dressed in smart black trousers which were tighter than Caroline had first thought. Gillian’s arse looked great in them and Caroline made a point of walking behind Gillian so she could watch her arse. 

The days would go quicker and Kate wouldn’t appear as often as Caroline was used to. She could feel Kate watching over her and smiling. Gillian and Caroline became official after their second date. They told their parents first and then their kids. William was delighted and couldn’t wait to meet Gillian properly. He had spoken to her a couple of times over the phone. Raff had awkwardly walked in on them at the farm in the kitchen. He had wanted to bleach his eyes out when he saw Caroline with her legs spread and his mother's head between them. Raff will not let them live that down now and he always makes jokes about it, much to his mother’s frustration. 

It wasn’t the first time they had been caught. Catherine had caught them in Caroline’s Range Rover. Caroline was hosting dinner for the family and Catherine arrived early to help prepare. She pulled into the driveway and saw Gillian sat in the passenger seat of the Range Rover with Caroline’s hand inside of her. She made Caroline jump and Gillian laugh when she banged on the window of the car. Catherine was not impressed and threatened the with public indecency charges if they didn’t get dressed. That dinner had been eventful. Celia had been making comments about Gillian drinking too much. Alan later had a talk with Celia who apologised for her remarks. Caroline had been tempted to say something but Gillian indicated that she was okay and that she didn’t need to step in. Catherine had been cracking jokes and providing a relief when things fell silent. Gillian and Caroline find out that they had the same birthday. Celia and Alan were ‘dating.’ This little bit of information pissed Caroline off and she was waiting for the right time to talk (argue) with her mother. Caroline was left alone with her mother while everyone ventured into the garden.

“What is it Caroline? You’ve been dying to comment since I announced that me and Alan are dating.” Celia watched as Caroline drained the water from the sink. 

“You and Alan start dating after me and Gillian start dating. Coincidence? I swear you have a thing against me when I date. You treated Kate horribly. You’ve made disgusting comments towards Gillian but you failed to remember you’re dating her father. He had to pull you aside to get you to stop. You’re such a bitch sometimes. No wonder Catherine wanted nothing to do with. You are so narrow-minded and down right homophobic at times. I cannot stand you." Caroline watched as her mother’s face paled. Celia almost shrunk under the gaze of her daughter. 

“Do not talk to me like that. I’m sick of your behaviour. You’ve changed. Catherine only had herself to blame for me disowning her! She has….had so much potential and she threw it away without thinking.” Celia watched Caroline take a deep breath.

“You really think you know it, don’t you? Catherine saved Gillian from her abusive ex-husband. She saved her from being raped and beaten repeatedly. How does that not make you proud? She almost died when she was on the streets. She saved Ann Gallagher. She’s risked her life for people she barely knew. She loves her job and she wants you to be proud of her. You should be proud of her. She’s braver than you could ever be. Now if you’d excuse me, I’m going to see my girlfriend and sister.” she spoke with emphasis on ‘girlfriend’ and ‘sister.’ Celia stood in the kitchen with her mouth hung open.

Eventually, Celia dragged Alan away from the crowd and asked if they could go. Alan agreed as he wasn’t in the mood to fight with Celia. She always had a way of ruining everything. Gillian said goodbye to dad and Celia. Gillian had been greeted with an eye-roll from Celia but she knew not to take it personally. Caroline is glad that Clare decided not to come as she knew that Celia didn’t like Clare. Celia’s attitude towards Clare was what sparked an argument between mother and daughter which led to Daniel and Ryan barely seeing or speaking to Celia. Cassie was in hospital as she was having an operation on her arm, so she didn’t get to meet Celia. That meeting would’ve ended extremely badly. 

Catherine was still working in the witness protection unit but she spent more time behind a desk which she didn’t mind. She got home at more acceptable hours meaning she could spend more time with her grandson. At the weekends, she would visit Becky more regularly and this prompted Caroline to visit Kate more often too. Caroline had also been telling Gillian stories about Kate. Gillian loved hearing them as it showed a side of Caroline that she had never seen. Grief was still evident but Caroline allowed Gillian to help her. Gillian and Alan had grown closer. Gillian wasn’t happy with her dad dating Celia as it seemed a little bit planned. Alan did admit that Celia had been scheming for a while and he did try to stop her.

Once everyone else had gone home, Caroline and Gillian were finally alone. “What are you thinking about?” Caroline said as Gillian flopped down on the bed, clearly deep in thought. “You, arguing with your mother.” Caroline laughed as she straddled Gillian, “Why are you thinking about that?” Gillian smirked, “You looked hot. I wanted to drag you away and fuck the living shit out of you.” Gillian watched as Caroline closed her eyes. Gillian could feel the heat radiating from between Caroline’s legs. “Well, is that offer still on the table?” Caroline asked as she undid the buttons on Gillian’s blouse. “For you? Always.”

Gillian had never understood the concept of making love. She had always viewed it as a cliche and something that only happened in movies but tonight, her opinion changed. She had never been touched or loved like this before. Passion was flowing through their veins. Declarations of love every step of the way. The constant need for permission made Gillian feel loved and now she knows what it is like to be in love. The only words she can say as she falls asleep is “I love you.”


End file.
